quiet night

woke up late again, well i didn't have anything to do today and i didn't go anywhere. loitered on the internet all day and i arranged to meet rachel (the girl who i discussed going halves with on a flat in the day after yesterday) , sortov, well yes i should see her in town before we nip to TDA cause she's got a meeting and i need to drop off the books i used for my retakes. I wonder if she realised that i was being serious about it because i have never really been serious with her, i supose it is a defensive mechanism against socialising and human interaction. i know that commitment scares me, well only while sober, i do become more of a 'people person' after a few pints and it really lets down my defenses, makes me happier aswell. i mean, thats true freedom isn't it, when you can wear your heart on your sleeve and bare everything, what can be done to you if you already have given them everything. i did the washing up, very fulfilling work and charater building i suppose. but tommorow is another day and it should be a good one.